Some of you might remember that I bought a used 325ic. When I tried to start it, the battery was almost dead. I charged it up and then tried to start it again. There was no response to the key being in the start position. Not a, Nichts, zippo. So I figured, since the starter's not making ANY sound, its probably ok, but I'll check it out. I get a floor jack and jack up the car from the lower control arms to fully lift each wheel. This way, I can get a ramp under the tire. I do this to each side. I figure I'll hot wire the solenoid terminal to see if it cranks. Oh yeah? Try and find the starter let alone the solenoid terminal. After searching for a while, I spot the end of the starter with the terminals that I'm looking for. Its about a frigen' foot and a half away, buried in the engine compartment. There's nooo way I can get my hand up there to even touch it let alone get electric to it. After about 20 minutes of looking at it, the thought occurs to me to use a tool I have for fetching a dropped nut or bolt out of the engine compartment that you can't get with your hand. Its a metal rod with another rod in the center of it that slides in and out, the end of which has four 'claws' made of something like spring steel that spread open when you push the rod and come together when pulling back on the rod. I cover the outside of the rod with electrical tape and get jumper wires to get a positive lead off the battery and touch the end of the rod with the other end of the lead. The tape prevents me from arcing the rod against metal as I stick it up into the engine compartment. I can grab the terminal with the claw and hold on to it. When I do this, the starter cranks as if I had turned the key. Sooooooo......the starter works, but the wire to it doesn't. I get out from under the car and get in it and turn the key to the 'on' position, go back under the car and crank the starter. The car doesn't start. I get starter fluid, and spray it into the air cleaner compartment, crank the engine and it starts to the extent that it used the ether. Soooo.... we're not getting gas either. This is fun!!!. A friend of mine, who is a mechanic asks me if the guy I bought it from had an alarm system that he didn't tell me about, because the chances of the starter circuit going bad AND the fuel pump circuit going bad at the same time are a bit high. He also said it could be a relay. He told me to look for a switch that's hidden for an alarm system. I start to think about this. Most keys have buttons on them for securing your car. I look at my key and I really don't see any, just a small BMW logo in the center of it. I press it for the hell of it and it is spring loaded. Then I notice that there are two buttons above it and below it that look like they're part of the key and not buttons at all, but when I press them, they are spring loaded buttons also. AHAAA. The solution. I opened the car with the key, but never actually hit the button. My ford truck has a chip in the key so the truck recognizes the key and the truck starts. The buttons on the BMW key only lock and unlock the car, but the chip inside should be recognized when I use the key to start the car. The buttons don't work, so the battery is dead. I go online to see how to replace the battery in the key. BMW says they're not replaceable and you must buy a new key for between one and two hundred dollars. However, people on u-tube show how to replace the battery. I also find out that there is a EWS system that immobilizes the car if the key is not recognized. The battery in the key energizes a transponder in the key to signal the EWS system, then the car will start. At least this is what I understand happens. Sooooooooo............ I carefully take apart the key like they do in the u-tube videos. It doesn't come apart EXACTLY as they say and I pull a battery contact out of the circuit board. I get a soldering iron out and try to reattach it and fxxk it up. THEN I go back to u-tube to find out how to properly solder a component on to a circuit board. I'll have to go to Radio Shack and get some proper equipment to do this...............THEN we'll see if it would have been easier just order a new GD key instead of all this bs I'm going through. Frankie, frustrated on the other side of the pond.
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