British Customs Officers

[hard top]

​

Was just having a chat with the Big Man (my mate Rob) about our trip to the UK for the New Forest run and he reminded me of this.......True story.

My passport has seen better days and is falling to bits so I keep it in this, as I am proud to be British.
This has been all over the world and I have never had problems until I land at Southampton airport.

​

Rob, with a Dutch passport, walks straight through, me, I get the third degree........
Bloke, remove your passport from that thing.
Me, OK, if it stays in one piece.
Bloke, so you put this in the washing machine did you?
Me, no, overboard.
Bloke, you got a boat then?
Me, no, my mate Rob has.
Bloke, he must be a good mate then?
Me, not anymore, he is the one that threw me overboard.
Bloke, where did you come from?
Me, same place as this flight, Amsterdam.
Bloke, what were you doing over there?
Me, having unprotected sex. Oh, and I live there, you can see that on my passport.
Bloke, what are you doing in the UK?
Me, not having unprotected sex and a Z meet.
Bloke, what?
Me, a Z meet.
(I was surprised, the bloke behind him leans over and says "I think that is a BMW car club thing")
Bloke, don't f*** with me, when are you returning to the Netherlands?
Me, right after the Z meet.
Bloke, go on then and sod off...........

 

[EnthuZiaZT]

Nice polite welcome then Mike, I get searched for guns knives and explosives when I leave the Uk.

Mike

 

[hard top]

Hi Mike @EnthuZiaZT , have you been through Norwich airport?
You have to pay to go through departures........

 

[ZTec]

​

Was just having a chat with the Big Man (my mate Rob) about our trip to the UK for the New Forest run and he reminded me of this.......True story.

My passport has seen better days and is falling to bits so I keep it in this, as I am proud to be British.
This has been all over the world and I have never had problems until I land at Southampton airport.

​

Rob, with a Dutch passport, walks straight through, me, I get the third degree........
Bloke, remove your passport from that thing.
Me, OK, if it stays in one piece.
Bloke, so you put this in the washing machine did you?
Me, no, overboard.
Bloke, you got a boat then?
Me, no, my mate Rob has.
Bloke, he must be a good mate then?
Me, not anymore, he is the one that threw me overboard.
Bloke, where did you come from?
Me, same place as this flight, Amsterdam.
Bloke, what were you doing over there?
Me, having unprotected sex. Oh, and I live there, you can see that on my passport.
Bloke, what are you doing in the UK?
Me, not having unprotected sex and a Z meet.
Bloke, what?
Me, a Z meet.
(I was surprised, the bloke behind him leans over and says "I think that is a BMW car club thing)
Bloke, don't f*** with me, when are you returning to the Netherlands?
Me, right after the Z meet.
Bloke, go on then and sod off...........

Nice welcome to the UK, he's wasted in customs, he should be in the diplomatic corps.

 

[hard top]

Nice welcome to the UK, he's wasted in customs, he should be in the diplomatic corps.

Most of them, not all I add, are a bunch of jobsworths.

 

[Gail]

In the interests of splitting hairs.....the people who examine passports are the UK Border Agency and not Customs!!!

 

[Ashbandicoot]

Border agency for the tunnel asked me if I had any animals with me

 

[t-tony]

bunch of jobsworths

You should try the Americans. I think they have to have a sense of humour by-pass to get the job.

Tony.

 

[hard top]

Border agency for the tunnel asked me if I had any animals with me

I would have said, no @M666BMG could not make the trip........

 

[t-tony]

I would have said,

T**t!

Tony.

 

[Rha]

Brill HT, he thought you were being trite, but in any case it should have made his day. Wot a nob.

 

[hard top]

Hey Jimbo @oldcarman, your personal crusade to dislike my posts to my friends is just bumping up my 'Likes Received' total.
Keep up the good work mate........

 

[oldcarman]

You have obviously mistaken me for someone that gives a sh;t what you say!! JIM

 

[hard top]

Morning Jimbo @oldcarman , hows things, you old keyboard warrior?

 

[Shelly]

I got my bags checked for explosives
My iPad , kindle and phone had this cloth wiped over them
Then the cloth was tested
But they didn't find anything

 

[Grumps]

We were checked coming out of Dover. Various questions asked and bag searched. Like Jue said at the time tho, if you've nothing to hide it shouldn't bother you. Their trying to protect us, their not doing a great job i admit but their having a go!

 

[t-tony]

Exactly right too Dave, it is PITA but it's for our own good in the end. I bit scary when you hear from the U.S. That people are still "forgetting" that they have loaded guns in their carry owns!!

Tony.